Oh, this is just cruel. Here we sit, in the company’s Townsville division, where the coffee tastes like muddy water and the floorboards creak like a haunted mansion, and we’re having to source supplies for a company that does office fitouts in Melbourne. This is the boss’ fault. He’s such a toad, always kissing up to the upper management and taking any and all assignments, probably in the hopes of getting assigned literally anywhere else.
So now we get to look at fancy offices being redone to the point where they look like multi-million dollar companies from Silicon Valley, and we’re just sitting here. Sitting here, sadly contemplating whether the microwave will work for us today. Yesterday I brought in some minestrone soup, which honestly is one of the least complicated soups out there. I made the mistake of thinking that my microwave could handle it, but alas. This was a mistake I will not make again. Everything in this office is old and shoddy, nothing works, the floorboards are constantly threatening to eat your foot and/or drag you down into an abyss where monsters live, judging by the noise, and it’s now coming into summer so I just can’t wait to show up in a suit and tie while my cubicle turns into a slow cooker. No, it’s just wonderful meeting clients, shaking their hands and them having to wipe it off straight afterwards. Just lovely.
They look like such nice offices…and all we’re really doing is sourcing materials. I just can’t help imagining looking around at this place and wondering what it’d be like if WE had something fancy like that. Don’t think I haven’t been to the office in Melbourne, office renovations in full-swing so I could see the transformation happening in real time. That’s right. I’ve SEEN it. Their microwave totally worked and everything. I’ve seen greatness, and I’m still stuck here…
I don’t always employ services for illicit purposes…but when I do, it’s for a good reason. That good reason would namely be that it benefits me, and that’s always a good thing. That is an excellent thing, you might say.
So. Anyway. Houses interest me, specifically the insides of them. Quite often I like to summon real estate agents to look inside places, not with any intent to buy them, but just to have a sticky beak. I’ve got some spare time, THEY have time because they’re doing their job…and so it’s win-win for everyone involved. Maybe, one day, I’ll decide I actually like a place, and then everyone wins even more! But the thing is, I’ve seen so many houses that I’m not content any more. I want the big prize. I want something better.
For that, I’ll need a buyers advocate. Melbourne has an up and coming industry around them that I’ve been following for a while, with the only catch being that these people cost a bit of money. Makes sense, right? If you’re going for the BIG houses, if you want to pay the BIG bucks, you have to spend a little along the way. It’s the first rule of investing, maybe. Probably the only rule. Actually, it’s the definition of investing, which is even better.
I wonder, am I going to sink money into my hobby? Plenty of people do, so I don’t see how me doing it is really a bad thing. I could afford to pay a bit to see the inside of some really nice places, and have people advise me on whether I should be buying them. I’d be paying them for the pleasure, so really, no one is getting hurt here. The Melbourne property advocate business will thrive, and I will be one of the ones making it so. Besides…I could be super rich in the future, and then I’ll need a property advocate for real. What say you to that?
There’s always time for milk. People at work seem to think it’s odd that I have my own mini-fridge, just filled with milk that I drink at random intervals. That is, people who’ve never heard of calcium. People who’ve never heard of protein.
Honestly, I’m used to being judged by ignorant folks who just don’t understand. People without milk can be so bitter, probably because they have brittle bones. That’s enough to make anyone grumpy. But okay, maybe I take it a little bit too far sometimes. We have meetings with the clients, and also the conveyancing lawyers since they have to be present for the signing of the documents. And then the clients are sipping tea, the conveyancers have coffee (it just seems to be a job thing) and I’m there with my glass of milk. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s not like I’m about to start spilling it all over the clients or anything! I should try my best to learn as much as I can from these excellent Melbourne based conveyancers. It’s a field that I find rather fascinating, I could see myself giving it a try in the future. I wonder if people think I’m strange for drinking so much milk?
Milk helps me in my job, anyway. It’s full of great stuff, and unlike something like tea or coffee, milk actually fills you up. That means I can easily go without lunch more or less every day, because I’m so full of milk! Easy stuff. And when you’re dealing with houses, you really don’t want to be going about it on an empty stomach. Bad decisions can be made. Paperwork gets lost. You can advise a family to buy a haunted house, just because you want to get back to your desk and eat a sausage roll. How terrible.
Everyone needs to learn from me; conveyancing solicitors as well, because their job is even more detail-oriented. I will show you all the way of staying full, staying healthy and being an excellent housing representative. And that answer is milk.