Mouldy Bathroom

My daughter, as great as she is, is a hothead. It seems like she enjoys arguing with me just for the sake of it. She also has a bad habit of changing scenarios in her head so that they fit into whatever narrative she is arguing. For example, we’re currently arguing about getting the bathroom or kitchen renovated. I’m the one with the money so I make the final decision, but she still likes to make it more difficult. 

She really doesn’t want to get the bathroom renovated because she says it’s fine and that the small issue we’re having with it can be fixed by a tradie. She’s right about that, but what about everything else that’s wrong with the bathroom? What about the taps that get stuck, the bath that doesn’t get used and the black mould growing in between the walls? It’s pretty obvious that we need a bathroom renovation more so than a kitchen renovation.

My daughter doesn’t even see the things I’ve mentioned. She’s very one-eyed. She is also so fixated on the fact that our fridge is no longer in the kitchen, but is instead in the dining room. Yeah, this is inconvenient and I agree, but it’s not a health hazard like the black mould in our bathroom! She refuses to admit this.

If I had a bottomless pit of money then I’d get both bathroom and kitchen renovations. In Melbourne renovators definitely have the capacity to do both at once, and it would be convenient for us, but it’s not feasible money-wise. She doesn’t seem to understand this. She also doesn’t understand that it has to be the bathroom or it will be nothing. In an ideal world, I wouldn’t have to get any bathroom renovations at all, but we don’t live in an ideal world and I need to get this mould problem under control as soon as possible.

The Brown Rock

I always hated the Bionic Cools. My kids loved them, of course, but I always thought they were really stupid. Especially the movies. Oh my gosh, those movies were abysmal. The animation was enough to make a grown man’s eyes bleed. The story was so weak and the characters were bland. It was all just an elaborate marketing campaign for the toys, which children would obviously fall for. I’m sad to say that my own kids were no exception. They didn’t want to collect Beanie Children, no. It was all Bionic Cools in our house.

So that’s why it kind of sucks that I’ve been turned into one of those terrible plastic toys. And of course I’m the one with the power to control rocks or something. What a lame character. He was always my least favourite.

I don’t really know what happened. One moment I was thinking about how I’d like to get kitchen renovation sometime, to increase the value of my home. Then, as I was walking across the room, I tripped on something stuck in the ground. When I composed myself and had a look at it, I saw a strange brown stone. I touched it and underwent this weird transformation. My flesh melted away and my bones turned to plastic.

What a terrible day.

And it’s not like I knew I had the power to control rocks or anything, so I accidentally destroyed my kitchen with it. Everywhere I walk, the foundations of my house spring up and crack. I may have to find a kitchen design business within Melbourne to help me fix it up. And by fixing it up, I mean building a new kitchen because this one is destroyed beyond repair, surely.

Why couldn’t I have been turned into a Lay Go character instead? Those are way better than Bionic Cools. But no, it seems I’m stuck like this. What a day.

– Rocky Reggie