Month: March 2017

Let the drains flow free

drain replacement MelbourneI’m so over having to unblock these drains by hand. Do you know how gross it is to put your hand down a drain and pull out a ball of hair? It’s completely gross to hand pick out balls of greasy hair from a drain. I’m not going to do it anymore, my wife is going to have to start being more responsible. She has very thick hair that tends to clog up the drains frequently. She’ll be in the shower and I’ll hear a yell and come in to see the water flowing back up from the sink. I’m going to leave the number for the blocked sewer company based in Melbourne on her nightstand, maybe she’ll get the hint. I don’t think I’m going to be able to fix the drains much longer anyway.

Each time it takes longer and is more difficult to fix. We really need to get a professional from drain inspections Melbourne to see what’s going on. My wife isn’t going to be happy when I turn the water off. Until she calls the team who deal with drain replacement, Melbourne pipes are old and in desperate need of repair.

I’m looking forward to them coming to fix my latest drain problems. There will be no water flowing in this household until that time. I have to put my foot down sometimes, it’s not like I haven’t tried to ask nicely. I’ve explained several times that she can’t just drop her hair down the shower drain. It’s not my fault that she doesn’t listen. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and we rarely ever have any problems, I’m just taking a stand. It’s important to stand up for what you believe in and not let people walk over you. I’m not going to be a pushover on things that are important. If the drains get too damaged it’s going to cost a lot of money to have them replaced.

Farewell to the Cello Championship

termite inspectionsWell, there go all my plans to be the cello champion of Australia. And with the Cello Championships coming up, as well…I was so close! I know I won’t be able to afford a new one by then, so I guess I’ll have to focus on learning a cheaper instrument. See, this is why I should’ve gone with the recorder from the start. Nana said, she definitely said that I should put my efforts into learning something that can be more easily be carried around. Still, I had no idea that leaving my cello outside for a couple of days would lead to it being eaten by termites. And now we’ve got the Dandenong termite control people in to have a look at the house, so actually…maybe this all turned out pretty well. Maybe. Just maybe.

Still unfortunate. I took it back from practice the other night, realised I forgot my key and had to go round the back door. My back door key had mysteriously vanished from my keyring (it later turned up in the washing machine…which explained the metallic clinking every time I put a load on), so I had to pry my bedroom door window open. Got a call as soon as I came in, which made me forget that I’d left my cello outside next to the wood pile. Didn’t have cause to use the back door for the next couple of days since I worked a double shift and don’t even use that door much anyway. And then I remembered. Came out, and…well, those little termites had migrated from our old wood pile so some quality Canadian pine. My cello was still sort of in-tact, but only barely, and it certainly doesn’t make nice noises any more. Shame, because I’ll now have to save up for a new one and get used to it all over again, etc.

So, the moral of the story is…termite control is important. And when you leave a piece of expensive wood sitting outside for two days, nature will begin to reclaim it. Still, like I said, Dandenong pest control have now done a rush through and confirmed that the little critters aren’t starting on my house as a second course. So…peace of mind. Peace of mind, but no more cello.

-Andrea

Tree Chopping, Different Oop North!

tree trimming MelbourneHey Dad,

So, the folks here must be ‘avin a laugh. They all think I’m from London, because no one here has heard of, like…anything above that. Because all of England is London, ey oop?

Honestly, people here know less than me mates Terry and Barry, and Terry and Barry are right numpties. One comedian even tried to say somethin’ to me about fish and chips and I asked him, I said right to ‘is face, are you avin’ a laugh? You ‘avin a giggle there, mate? I’ll bash yer ‘ead in, I’ll smack ye in the gabber, I swear on me mum!

At least I get to so somethin’ a little more up my street, which is tree pruning. Melbourne lads, they’re a right lark with a chainsaw and a plate ‘o beans, just hacking all day long and getting’ rid of them trees. You even get the emergency lot, drivin’ in on them big trucks with their fancy equipment. First day I dunno what I’m lookin’ at, so I say to them, I says ‘what you got all this palava for?’, and they guy says somethin’ in Aussie, don’t really get it, but it looks like all the tree loppers ‘ave it around here, so they can chop down them trees. And of course I’m all like ‘ahh, way! You avin’ a laugh?’ and they don’t know what that meant, not ‘cause they’re a bit thick, but they don’t have much of a clue when it comes to stuff outside Melbourne. Dunno why, since I get what they’re saying just fine.

This tree trimming is a right lark, and you see all types in the job from the teens to the auld fellas. The boss is a good fella, lets is go home early if we’re up the trot. So I’m all like ‘belter, boss, right in!’ and he looks at me funny an’ I’m proper devo’d. I think I’m getting a lot of that, to be honest. Maybe I need to talk a bit more like one ‘o them?

So long as I know them specific Melbourne tree trimming terms, I’m well in. Anyway, say ‘ello to me Gran next time you visit the county jail, and tell ‘er she still owes me a tenner, the old bat.

-Barry