I Just Love Being High Up

folding platform laddersI think I might have ended up with a restraining order…against the sky. Well, uh, sort of?

Okay, I really just like my heights, but it keeps getting me in serious trouble. There was the foiled skydiving attempt when I was on the plane to Tahiti, which in retrospect makes me glad that it was foiled. The base jumping society has banned me from all further meetings because apparently I make them nervous. And then there are the improv bungee sessions, which eventually landed me in court. A lot of things actually landed me in court, but this seemed to be the final straw for the judge. Now I’m banned from being more than twenty feet in the air, lest my natural urges take over.

No three-storey buildings, no bungee jumps, no climbing walls, and definitely no folding platform ladders. In my defence, I didn’t do any prior research into what folding platform ladders actually were for, before I went and attached a bungee cord to one of them. Now I have to make an official apology to the people at the building site, even though I didn’t actually break anything. I suppose they want to know that I’ve learned my lesson not to mess with building supplies, but with a restraining order on my further airborne activities, what’s the point?

I don’t know how I’m going to live, being so attached to the ground. Humans weren’t meant to just walk around their entire lives, you know? That’s why we were made with brains to let us invent things like hang gliders and jet packs, and reunite with man’s best friend (birds) in the air. So, all kinds of aluminium work platforms are definitely out. I need to find another way around this. The sky is calling.