Darn Youths, Ruining My Platforms

planks and trestlesKeep your stupid comments in your pocket!

Gah, the human race makes me so mad. All I’m doing is trying to submit my expertise to an online database of experts, and nitpicking nitwits are always coming in and ruining my answers. Fifteen years I spent as a builder, and these YOUNG people think they can outdo my own knowledge. It frustrates me, their foolish comments.

It’s just the internet; shouldn’t bother me this much. The internet is full of twits who are constantly trying to make people think they know what they’re talking about. I mean, who would even think that wooden platforms are superior to aluminium work platforms? Some person said that wooden platforms were ‘retro’, and actually lasted longer than aluminium platforms if you took care of them.

“They don’t rust!” he said, like an idiot. Yes, that’s because they decay and get mould instead. Thing is, his little squad of millennial followers all chimed in like trained monkeys, saying that ‘yeah, they’d heard that before’ and ‘yeah, sometimes the old ways really are the best!’ and ‘yeah, this old guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about’.

How dare they defile this exchange of knowledge, not only with their lies and inexperience, but their sickening overconfidence. I was around when Melbourne transitioned from wooden platforms to aluminium ones. These young people were still in kindergarten when I was setting up planks and trestles, wrestling with bailey ladders.

And they think they can tell ME what the old ways were, and if they were better? Those comments need to go RIGHT back into their pockets, and stay there. If only I knew how to actually develop a strong base of followers, so I could benefit from those sweet, sweet upvotes. Apparently, giving solid advice with competent grammar just isn’t enough.

-Denzel