Can we talk about the office party?

corporate functions MelbourneI may be a humble provider of food service, but I know when something’s up. I always could smell trouble in the wind, like a wolf picking up a scent. I suppose I really should’ve been a detective instead of making canapes, but perhaps there’s still time. In any case, I keep my ear to the ground even when I’m serving, because you just never know what you’ll pick up, even in a place that seems as interesting as Melbourne. Corporate function rooms are simply full of news and the likes, the latest information on technology, companies going under, companies on the rise, Judy’s habit of taking parking spaces that do not belong to her. I hear that one a lot, funnily enough…perhaps the lesson here is to be wary if there’s a lady called Judy in your company who keeps eyeing your personal, private parking space as if she’s very much like to lay claim to it. Dangerous name, that is.

But…well, perhaps I shouldn’t say. I don’t often DO much with this information, mind you. I walk through all those party venues holding a silver tray and people just say what they like, as if I’m part of the furniture. Suits me just fine, and I don’t even know most of them. But there was a big fancy corporate function last night for that Lawrence Corp. You know the ones, they’re selling all that cheap, wonderful technology. I still have my mobile from 1995, thanks very much. Anyway, we were called in on short notice because the other catering company folded all of a sudden. So odd…

I didn’t partake in any of the pre-catering drinks- arthritis- but while I was serving, I noticed something very strange. It just seemed that everyone was having the same conversation. Maybe it was a hot topic, what do I know? People in function rooms across Melbourne can talk about what they like, but ALL these hundred or so people were talking about water coolers. Same thing, over and over again. They needed water cooler installation. All I can say is that the folks at Lawrence Corp love their fresh water!

Adore your garden too

bulbs for saleYes, it is true, I adore real estate. I live it and breathe it. It helps that it is how I make a living but I also love it externally to my job. I love what people do with their homes and the different factors considered when purchasing properties. One thing that always stands out to me is the impact the garden has on potential buyers. I have seen people completely fall in love with a house and then step outside, only to do a complete 180 and run out of there as fast as they can. It is not hard to make a garden look as presentable as your house. Some big bold flowers can really do the trick. I have recently been recommending people go online and order some flowers, pre-planted if you don’t have a green thumb. A great option are some calla lillies. They come in all sorts of colours and make a real statement to anyone that walks into your backyard, and they are relatively low maintenance. Just keep watering them! It can really turn buyers off when your garden is just a scrap of grass and a rusty climbing frame. It doesn’t take much effort or cost a lot to order some bulbs, seeds and flowers online and give it a spruce. You never know, you might like gardening and discover your new hobby! The calla lily hot cherry variety is my favourite, it is sophisticated and vibrant all at the same time. You’d be surprised how many of my guests have commented on my lilies when they come over. Investing in some summer flowering bulbs before you get your house on the market for the summer season can end up earning you a lot more money than you spent. A lush flowering bed adds value to your entire property.

Video Game Financier

When Charles first came to talk to me about his future plans I had no idea why. We had never really spoken about anything other than video game releases and new burger places we had tried. He seemed very serious and when I tried to crack a joke that we should just play video games instead of chatting, he did not laugh. Apparently he has decided he wants to become a a video game developer and he wants to attend a video game design course in Melbourne. I told him that’s a great idea but didn’t really have much else to say on the topic. Then I realised why he was really talking to me. He needs some financial help to enroll in the technology course, he needs help with money to live in Melbourne as you would expect. That’s where I come in. I have never seen Charles act so sternly, I half expected him to whip out a financial plan and tell me about my return on investment in the coming years. It didn’t take me too long to come up with an answer. Of all of Charles’ absurd ideas this one is probably the best and most deserving of funding. I immediately wrote him a cheque and stipulated the funds must only be used for the game design course in Melbourne, or related living costs. I had a slight fear that he might turn up in two weeks having been on a blowout in Las Vegas or something but he assured he was very serious about this. I trust him. After we settled all the finances we got to talking about what he wants to do long-term once he gets his video game qualification. He plans to develop competitive sport management games aimed at adults. I am impressed by his determination, and the fact that all this was going on when I thought all he thought about was burgers and sleep schedules.

Home styling market trends

home stylingJohn and I have been searching for somewhere to live for about six months now. We are just not agreeing on anywhere. The place that I loved, he thought was too small and the one he wanted, I thought was way too big! I have very high hopes for an apartment we are going to see this weekend. It’s 5 minutes from my office and only 10 from John’s. It is somewhere in the middle of the two we liked previously in terms of size and it has a communal garden! I don’t even want to think about the drama’s we are going to have when we come to furnishing the place. John’s mum is an interior stylist; she knows all the best property staging companies to advise on market trends when it comes to decorating a home for auction. I know she is going to get very involved in our design choices. A lot of the stuff she likes is actually rather amazing but way outside of our budget and way too ‘styled’.

I prefer a slightly more natural look, a hodge podge of meaningful and personal pieces. I find that all the places we are seeing look the same; the same shades of dark wood, minimal greys, slate, polished concrete and so on. I think John likes the minimal scando inspired look but I don’t want to live in just another new build. His mum keeps sending me images of bespoke woodcraft pieces and vintage candelabras, I fear I am going to have to give in to something. I keep telling her she needs to calm down until we actually find a place to live! At the moment we have no mantelpiece on which to place the exquisite 18th century compass she has found for us. I have just about managed to stop her from coming with us to look at all the apartments, especially the one this weekend. I keep telling her I don’t want to seem presumptuous by showing up with an home styling expert, as I know she would be unable to control her urges to measure things and draw up plans.

Events team are going strong

Melbourne birthday venuesSo happy to be hired as part of an events team! Gosh, I’m fresh out of uni as well. I didn’t even have to apply: I was drafted. Seriously? Even the tutors were pretty disparaging about our chances at finding a job. I handed in my final assessment and sort of sighed, because I knew I’d be in for a long job hunt without anything great at the end because it’s an industry where you work your way up.

Never mind any of that! I have to pinch myself every morning, but here I am, fresh from my very first day and everyone seems so lovely. Basically, our company has monthly gatherings, just socials where people can chill and let off steam. My job is to scout out Melbourne’s party venues and find something fresh every month. I guess Melbourne must have a few of them, but it’s a bit weird that we have to find a new one every month. Maybe we’re looking for the absolute perfect fit, and we’ll stop there? Guess it depends on me doing my job well, because I have to constantly keep my ear to the ground for any hot places.

At least I’m the ‘new’ girl, so I guess the responsibility won’t be all mine from the get-go. I do have a few ideas for function venues, party rooms, all that business. I just did an events course, after all! You don’t do that for three years without picking up some contacts and industry knowledge, unless you’re really just phoning it in and you don’t care about your industry. A lot of people just pick events because it sounds easy, and ‘I like parties’. Nope, I was pretty serious! And now I have a serious job, so it looks like that one paid off. The only thing is that people don’t really talk about much here. They all want to talk about work all the time, and I don’t know anything about them as people. Maybe it’ll change, but for now I’m focusing on broadening my Melbourne birthday party venue knowledge. Can’t waste this opportunity…

Susan and her apps

app development courses in MelbourneSusan came round on the weekend and told me about her new plans to become a millionaire. She has come up with a new app that sets up farmers with produce distributors. It might sound like a good idea but it is just classic Susan. She always has these mad ideas that she thinks are really special but she gets bored of them before she dedicates any actual time to developing it. She has started looking at app design courses in Melbourne because she truly thinks this one will be different. I can assure you, it will not. Susan doesn’t even know anything about farming and now she wants to create the Tinder of the farming world. She went on one date with a farmer who was complaining about a lack of communication channels between growers and suppliers and she suddenly felt enlightened. The guy didn’t work out but she is now a serious app developer and a budding technological guru. Apparently the app development course will teach her everything from actually designing and building the app, to marketing it and releasing it. I guarantee Susan won’t even attend a single open day for an app development course but she will talk about it for approximately two months before barging in with another genius idea. A lot of my other friends ask why I still keep Susan around because all she ever does is talk about herself. If I am being honest, she has a certain energy that I enjoy, even if she is banging on about app courses and whatnot. At least she isn’t as boring as my other friends who only talk about divorces and broken kettles. The other annoying thing about Susan is her lack of awareness, I mean the woman genuinely believes she is the first person to think of a genius app idea.